¤All men are created equal, but some are more equal than others. RAGOSTA Let not the sands of time get in your lunch. SYSTEM I never fail to convice an audience that the best thing they could do was to go away. SYSTEM Deprive a mirror of its silver and even the Czar won't see his face. SYSTEM There are more old drunkards than old doctors. SYSTEM Words must be weighed, not counted. SYSTEM Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves. SYSTEM Never say you know a man until you have divided an inheritance with him. SYSTEM An idea is not responsible for the people who believe in it. SYSTEM Behind every argument is someone's ignorance. SYSTEM DO UNTO OTHERS .... THEN SPLIT ! JURGELEIT That must be wonderful! I dont understand it at all. SYSTEM You cannot kill time without injuring eternity. SYSTEM It's a poor workman who blames his tools. SYSTEM Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly. -- VOLTAIRE SYSTEM To criticize the incompetent is easy; it is more difficult to criticize the competent. RAGOSTA Man's horizons are bounded by his vision. SYSTEM One family builds a wall, two families enjoy it. SYSTEM Put your brain in gear before starting your mouth. SYSTEM There are more ways of killing a cat than choking her with cream. SYSTEM Publishing a volume of verse is like dropping a rose petal down the Grand Canyon and waiting for the echo. SYSTEM Far duller than a serpent's tooth it is to spend a quiet youth. SYSTEM Lend money to a bad debtor and he will hate you. SYSTEM If you continually give you will continually have. SYSTEM He walks as if balancing the family tree on his nose. SYSTEM ...and so you killed him in a rit of fealous jage !!!! RAGOSTA Never call a man a fool; borrow from him. SYSTEM Let he who takes the plunge remember to return it by Tuesday. SYSTEM If you would keep a secret from an enemy, tell it not to a friend. SYSTEM When the wind is great, bow before it; when the wind is heavy, yield to it. SYSTEM Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature. SYSTEM Everything bows to success, even grammar. SYSTEM Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage. SYSTEM He is truly wise who gains wisdom from another's mishap. SYSTEM I've given up reading books; I find it takes my mind off myself. SYSTEM Even the boldest zebra fear the hungry lion. SYSTEM Swap read error. You lose your mind. SYSTEM What makes us so bitter against people who outwit us is that they think themselves cleverer than we are. RAGOSTA Tookey tookey. DUMMY Raising pet electric eels is gaining a lot of current popularity. SYSTEM It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do. SYSTEM Someone whom you reject today, will reject you tomorrow. SYSTEM The only rose without thorns is friendship. SYSTEM Conversation enriches the understanding, but solitude is the school of genius. SYSTEM The world is an 8000 mile in diameter spherical pile of dirt. SYSTEM THIESSEN'S LAW OF GASTRONOMY: The hardness of the butter is in direct proportion to the softness of the roll BASERGA From listening comes wisdom and from speaking repentance. SYSTEM He who falls in love with himself will have no rivals. SYSTEM Massachusetts has the best politicians money can buy. SYSTEM Never drink from your finger bowl - it contains only water. SYSTEM To save a single life is better than to build a seven story pagoda. SYSTEM Everyone complains of his memory, no one of his judgment. SYSTEM You will be aided greatly by a person whom you thought to be unimportant. SYSTEM Whenever I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes. SYSTEM It was a book to kill time for those who liked it better dead. SYSTEM He was so narrow-minded he could see through a keyhole with two eyes. SYSTEM Watch out for the old mortar in the rocks in the fourteenth hole trick. SYSTEM Too bad ignorance isn't painful. RAGOSTA Let's just be friends and make no special effort to ever see each other again. SYSTEM When you go out to buy, don't show your silver. SYSTEM I/O, I/O, its off to work we go. SHERIDAN Of all forms of caution, caution in love is the most fatal. SYSTEM Reality in small doses is OK. But as a lifestyle it is too confining. SHERIDAN To give happines is to deserve happiness. SYSTEM Just when you start winning the rat race, along come faster rats. RAGOSTA The only way to find the limits of the possible is to go beyond them to the impossible. SHERIDAN A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a Unicorn. SYSTEM There are three things I have always loved and never understood - art, music, and women. SYSTEM It's sweet to be remembered, but it's often cheaper to be forgotten. SYSTEM The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits. RAGOSTA Make a wish, it might come true. SYSTEM How sharper than a hound's tooth it is to have a thankless serpent. SYSTEM To do is to be - Nietzsche To be is to do - Sartre Do be do be do - Sinatra SYSTEM Lonely men seek companionship. Lonely women sit at home and wait. They never meet. SYSTEM Never try to teach a pig to sing... It wastes your time and annoys the pig. RAGOSTA Lawrence Radiation Laboratory keeps all its data in an old gray trunk. SYSTEM The First Rule Of Holes----- If you're in one, stop digging. SHERIDAN SHERIDAN Your mind understands what you have been taught; your heart, what is true. SYSTEM Alimony and bribes will engage a large share of your wealth. SYSTEM Might as well be frank, monsieur. It would take a miracle to get you out of Casablanca. SYSTEM He who has imagination without learning has wings but no feet. SYSTEM A lost ounce of gold may be found, a lost moment of time never. SYSTEM Satire does not look pretty upon a tombstone. SYSTEM Your happiness is intertwined with your outlook on life. SYSTEM Men seldom show dimples to girls who have pimples. SYSTEM What no spouse of a writer can ever understand is that a writer is working when he's staring out the window. SYSTEM I don't remember ever having had the itch, and yet scratching is one of nature's sweet pleasures, and so handy. SYSTEM Youth had been a habit of hers so long that she could not part with it. SYSTEM Along the road your steps may stumble, your thoughts may start to stray; but through it all a heart held humble levels and lights the way. RAGOSTA For people who like that kind of book, that is the kind of book they will like. SYSTEM Misery loves company, but company does not reciprocate. SYSTEM History books which contain no lies are extremely dull. SYSTEM No doubt Jack the Ripper excused himself on the grounds that it was human nature. SYSTEM If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; but if you really make them think they'll hate you. SYSTEM Sin has many tools, but a lie is the handle which fits them all. SYSTEM The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue. SYSTEM No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish. SYSTEM What orators lack in depth they make up in length. SYSTEM If you always postpone pleasure you will never have it. Quit work and play for once. SYSTEM It's not reality that's important, but how you perceive things. SYSTEM To keep your friends treat them kindly; to kill them, treat them often. SYSTEM The best prophet of the future is the past. SYSTEM We prefer to speak evil of ourselves than not speak of ourselves at all. SYSTEM He who is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else. SYSTEM Love the sea? I Dote upon it - from the beach. SYSTEM What this country needs is a dime that will buy a good five-cent bagel. SYSTEM $ DELETE *.*;* $ DIR No files found. $ LOGOUT RAGOSTA I like work; it fascinates me; I can sit and look at it for hours. SYSTEM The universe is laughing behind your back. SYSTEM Even the smallest candle burns brighter in the dark. SYSTEM I must have slipped a disk - my pack hurts. SYSTEM By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail. SYSTEM Ours is a world where people don't know what they want and are willing to go through hell to get it. SYSTEM Many a family tree needs trimming. SYSTEM THERE IS NEVER ANY TRUE PLEASURE IN THAT WHICH GIVES ANOTHER PAIN BURNS There are many people today who literally do not have a close personal friend. SYSTEM The hardest thing is to disguise your feelings when you put a lot of relatives on the train for home. SYSTEM A king's castle is his home. SYSTEM This file will self-destruct in five minutes. SYSTEM Beauty and harmony are as necessary to you as the very breath of life. SYSTEM To laugh at men of sense is the privilege of fools. SYSTEM Like winter snow on summer lawn, time past is time gone. SYSTEM The wise shepherd never trusts his flock to a smiling wolf. SYSTEM The attacker must vanquish; the defender need only survive. SYSTEM Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill. RAGOSTA You plan things that you do not even use because of your extreme caution. SYSTEM Stop searching forever. Happiness is just next to you. SYSTEM ...but now old friends are acting strange; they shake their heads and say I've changed... RAGOSTA One man tells a falsehood, a hundred repeat it as true. SYSTEM Avert misunderstanding by calm, poise, and balance. SYSTEM That same rowdy crowd that was here last night is back again. SYSTEM When looking directly at the easy way, especially for long periods, you will not see it. FLEIG Forty two. RAGOSTA Have a nice day, gorgeous ! JURGELEIT Experiments should be reproducible - they should fail in the same way. FLEIG Life is spent waiting for either death or Santa Claus. SHERIDAN A transistor protected by a fast-acting fuse will protect the fuse by blowing first. FLEIG Warranty and guarantee clauses are voided by payment of the invoice. FLEIG Pure drivel tends to drive ordinary drivel off the TV screen. FLEIG dlog si srettilg taht lla erus s'ohw ydal a s'erehT RAGOSTA You always find something the last place you look. FLEIG God is a comedian playing to an audience that is afraid to laugh. RAGOSTA If a program is useless, it will have to be documented. If a program is useful, it will have to be changed. FLEIG Profanity is the one language all programmers know best. FLEIG Todays problems are usually forgotten by tomorrow. OBRIEN The day is a total lost until I give somebody HELL! HABRIAL All men want to be rich, rich men want to be king, and a king ain't satisfied till he owns everything. GE Do. Or do not. There is no try. -- Yoda RAGOSTA You're in a maze of twisty passages, all alike. GE Do you know that if it wasn't for you this system would run much better. HABRIAL People from Los Angeles don't trust the air they can't see. HABRIAL The IRS will be calling on you soon. HABRIAL The system is going down forever starting next Tuesday. HABRIAL Start spreading the gnus. RAGOSTA Well, its about time you log off and go home. I'm tired. HABRIAL When planets go around and around in circles, we say they are orbiting. When people do it, we say they are crazy. JURGELEIT COBOL rots the brain! HABRIAL OOPS!!! ALL YOUR FILES GOT DELETED VERY SORRY. TARAFDER ART THOU SITTING ON A CORNFLAKE, WAITING FOR THE BAND TO COME?? NASTRAN Eschew obfuscation. RAGOSTA Get your tootsie-frootsie ice cream! GE I'd rather have this bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy! GE Mrs. Peel, we're needed. GE Whatever hits the fan will be evenly distributed. FLEIG Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either. FLEIG For every human problem there is a neat, plain solution, and it is always wrong. FLEIG All modern thought is permeated by the idea of thinking the unthinkable: JURGELEIT A specialist is someone who has learned more and more about less and less until he knows all there is to know about nothing at all. FLEIG There are many good reasons for drinking, and one just entered my head; If a man can't drink when he's living, how can he drink when he's dead? HABRIAL The trouble with you is you think too much; just DO it! FLEIG Don't get mad, get even. SYSTEM Programming is like sex. People prefer engaging in it to writing about it. MEARNS May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your bed tonight. FLEIG Funny how something can make sense at first, but as you study it meaning its less becomes less and clear. OBRIEN What was the name of Quick-Draw Mcgraw's dog? (You know, the one who LOVED those dog biscuits!) OBRIEN It's crackers to slip a rozzer the dropsy in snide. BACKS The day is the same length as anything that is the same length as it: Lewis Carroll SIEGENTHALThe chicken was the egg's idea for getting more eggs: SIEGENTHALQuality of life can be measured as the inverse of lawyers per thousand. SHERIDAN A sadist is a person who is kind to a masochist. SIEGENTHALDescribe a circle, stroke its back and it turns vicious: SIEGENTHALThe only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it:Wilde SIEGENTHALIf the rich could hire other people to die for them, the poor could make a wonderful living: SIEGENTHALOne of the stangest things about life is that the poor, who need money the most, are the very ones that never have it: SIEGENTHALDENY EVERYTHING, ADMIT NOTHING, AND ASK FOR PROOF. BASERGA A professor is someone who talks in somebody else's sleep. RAGOSTA Get off your ASCII! FLEIG Good health is merely the slowest rate at which one can die. SHERIDAN Have you ever wished you could use a in real life? OBRIEN There is no accounting for greed. OBRIEN It is better to keep silent and let someone think you a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. RAGOSTA Sometimes no matter which side of the bed you get up on, its the wrong side. LUETKEMEYEBlessed are those who expect nothing for they shall not be disappointed. - Nietzsche LUETKEMEYENuke the gay Iranian unborn Med whales. NEFF There is something to be said for one who speaks quickly and decisively. But I can't think of what it is. OBRIEN Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative -- Oscar Wilde NEFF The foolish and the dead alone never change their opinions. -- James Russell Lowell NEFF There is nothing permanent except change. NEFF Action is the last resource of those who know not how to dream.--Oscar Wilde NEFF Eggheads, unite! You have nothing to lose but your yolks.--Adlai Stevenson NEFF It is not true that life is one damn thing after another--it's one damn thing over and over. -- Edna St.Vincent Millay NEFF Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious. NEFF When a person puts his best foot forward and gets it stepped on--that's life. NEFF The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn. NEFF Isn't your life extremely flat/ With nothing to grumble at? -- W.S. Gilbert NEFF Against logic there is no armor like ignorance. NEFF Insanity--a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.--R.D. Laing NEFF To love is to admire with the heart; to admire is to love with the mind. NEFF The only form of lying that is absolutely beyond reproach is lying for its own sake. -- Oscar Wilde NEFF A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it.-- Oscar Wilde NEFF Martyrdom is the only way in which a man can become famous without ability. -- George Bernard Shaw NEFF The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true. NEFF I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.-- W.C. Fields NEFF You can be sincere and still be stupid. NEFF If it were not for space, all matter would be jammed together in one lump and that lump wouldn't take up any room. NEFF A conservative is a man who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run. NEFF A conservative is a man who does not think that anything should be done for the first time. NEFF In literature as in love, we are astonished at what is chosen by others. NEFF The worst thing about new books is that they keep us from reading the old ones. NEFF My only policy is to profess evil and do good. -- George Bernard Shaw NEFF Seeing is deceiving. It's eating that's believing. NEFF For every credibility gap there is a gullibility fill. NEFF Committee-- a group of the unfit, appointed by the unwilling, to do the unnecessary. NEFF Committee-- a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours. NEFF The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be. NEFF The best thing about the future is that it comes only one day at a time. NEFF The brain is as strong as its weakest think. NEFF At a certain age some people's minds close up; they live on their intellectual fat. NEFF If you keep your mind sufficiently open, people will throw a lot of rubbish into it. NEFF If anything can go wrong it will. - Murphy JURGELEIT Crank-- a man with a new idea until it succeeds.--Mark Twain NEFF Knowledge is power, if you know it about the right person. NEFF REYNOLD'S LAW OF CLIMATOLOGY: Wind velocity increases directly with the cost of the hairdo. BASERGA Suits and ties are a poor substitute for competence. MEARNS George Lucas announced today the acquisition of NASA's Ames Research Center. Profit-sharing will extend to all Ames employees. PALMER If it ain't broke, don't fix it. RAGOSTA YOU IS SOO UGLY, WHEN YOU WAS BORN YOUR MAMA HAD TO TIE A PORK CHOP AROUND YOUR NECK SO THE DOG WOULD PLAY WITH YOU...ZARATHUSTRA MURBACH The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance. RMBROWN My name is Bond . . . James Bond. SCHLINKERTWork and play should be kept separate; never work if there is important playing that needs to be done. OBRIEN A man's house is his castle and thou shall not hassle a man in his castle. LUETKEMEYELiving on EARTH may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the SUN . DEBEBE Be still as a mountain; move like a great river. VANCAMP One cannot carry great weights while walking on tiptoe. VANCAMP That which is called a flash of creativity in man is called an error in a computer. FLEIG If you have ugly software, use LIQUID CODE to cover those unsightly kludges. Made by Hacker Helpers, INC. Recursive language version available soon. OBRIEN %SYSTEM-F-COOKIENOTFND, cookie not in system cookie file FLEIG Being an umpire is like being a king. It doesn't prepare you to do anything else. SHERIDAN Why take life seriously, you're not going to get out of it alive. Red Skelton ANDERSON Missouri loves company RMBROWN If the shoe fits your nose, your face looks like a foot. CARWILE There is no pen which is right for me. CARWILE You are a fluke of the Universe, You have no right to be here, and the Universe is laughing behind your back--Deteriorada BLYNCH No Fortune Today---Soothsayers out of commission due to unforseen circumstances. BLYNCH Bones -- Caves. NEDELL Well, was it worth it ?? NEDELL Live and scratch, when you die the itching stops. GOFORTH The IRS has been informed of your fraudulent activities! JLBROWN It's difficult to soar with eagles when you work with turkeys. RAGOSTA %REM-S-END, control returned to node _OFF:: SYSTEM Be ALERT, we need more LERTS !! DAVIST Life is too short to just sit around enjoying yourself. LIBRARY The Nuclear Arms Race: Two men are sitting in a large pool of gasoline. One has seven matches and the other has only five. BLYNCH The British plan for the Falklanders: They will all be moved to Malta where they will become Maltese Falcons. -- Alan Cranston BLYNCH Why should we WAIT so long for something called a PROMPT? JLBROWN Stupidity (like virtue) is its own reward. RAGOSTA Some things need to have green paint applied to them. OBRIEN If "pro" is the opposite of "con", then what's the opposite of "progress". CLEVIT APL is a mistake, carried through to perfection. It is the language of the future for the coding techniques of the past. -E. W. Dijkstra CLEVIT TO BOLDLY GO WHERE NO MAN HAS GONE BEFORE!! HOSEIN How wonderful is science... One gets such wholesale returns in conjecture for such trifling investments in fact. -Mark Twain MEARNS CORNY COMMUNICATION CREAMED ON CRUMBLY COOKIE CAN CONNOTE CONNIPTIVE CLINICAL CONCLUSION. WINGROVE That's funny....I thought there was supposed to be a cookie here. OBRIEN Fear and regret are twin thieves who rob us of today. HOSEIN And now for something completely different !! HOSEIN Take off, eh ?? HOSEIN WHEN YOU FIND THAT THEY ARE SUPERIOR TO US IN ANY FIELD, REMEMBER THAT THEIR SUPERIORITY IS INFERIOR TO OURS.--THURBER HLEE Go to Dijkstra; Go to Dijkstra; Go to Dijkstra; Go to Dijkstra; Go to Dijkstra; Go to Dijkstra; Go to Dijkstra; Go to Dijkstra; GOFORTH I'd rather be here than Philadelphia. W. C. Fields Tombstone HANNAN Skip the cookie, bring on the chocolate mousse! OBRIEN USER E.T. IS PHONING YOU. MIYA Definition of a Polish string quartet: a Polish orchestra just back from a Western tour. OBRIEN Consistency is the bugaboo of small minds - Emerson LAMASTER "He understood the difference between results and excuses." LAMASTER COPY UNIVERSE::[GALAXY]EARTH.SOL HOLE::[BLACK] JLBROWN %CKE-W-ARBITRARILY, You have been denied cookie access just this one time. OBRIEN Never kick a child while his mother is watching. CONNORS There are bold mountaineers and there are old mountaineers, but there are no old bold mountaineers. GOFORTH I will not let my life be ruled by memories of memories. RAGOSTA If you have more than 20 users on your VAX, beware of the S.P.C.V. OBRIEN Tis better to hear the rebuke of the wise than to hear the song of fools. FROUNDS Rust never sleeps SWEENEY Wasn't life easier in the thousand acre wood ? SWEENEY space is a fun place. FROUNDS After dealing with you for this brief time, I am eagerly anticipating the arival of artificial intelligence. BABB Inside every large problem is a small problem struggling to get out. SLOAN Law of Life's Highway: If everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane! SLOAN No matter where you go, there you are! SLOAN You can't fall off the floor. SLOAN PROFANITY is the one language all programmers know best. SLOAN Science is the mother of all science. FROUNDS May the farce be with you. FROUNDS Infinite loops are only theoretical. OBRIEN A man would have to be crazy to think we're all alone in a universe like THIS. SHERIDAN DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE OTHERS DO UNTO YOU. STERN WATER SEEKS ITS OWN LEVEL. STERN TO HAVE FRIENDS BE A FRIEND. STERN Joy at the start. Fear in the journey. Joy at the coming home. Part of the heart gets lost in the learning somewhere along the road. RAGOSTA PEOPLE WHO PUT VANITY AHEAD OF COMFORT DESERVE TO BE UNCOMFORTABLE! STERN TOMORROW CAN BE WHATEVER YOU WANT IT TO BE IF YOU ARE WILLING TO PAY THE PRICE. STERN EVERY PURCHASE HAS ITS PRICE. STERN THE WISE SHEPHERD NEVER TRUSTS HIS FLOCK TO A SMILING WOLF. STERN IF YOU MUST FAIL, FAIL WHILE DARING GREATLY. A GREAT SUCCESS IS OFTEN BUILT UPON PREVIOUS FAILURES. STERN Celibacy is not Heriditatery CLARY A man with one watch always knows what time it is but a man with two can never be sure. NEUMAN I don't have to take this! Scotty - beam me up! SYSTEM SMILE! The world will wonder what you've been up to. STEPHAN ABOVE ALL, SHOW NO ZEAL LANE WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU A LEMON, MAKE LEMONADE LANE IF YOU WANT TO BE BORING, JUST TELL EVERYTHING YOU KNOW. STEPHAN SMILES ARE FREE AND OF NO VALUE UNTIL THEY ARE GIVEN AWAY! STEPHAN BE PATIENT STERN never make a VAX move. FROUNDS Emm Eye Cee ... Kay Eee Why ... FLEIG LOOK TO THIS DAY, FOR IT IS LIFE, THE VERY LIFE OF LIFE; YESTERDAY WAS BUT A DREAM AND TOMORROW A VISION. LOOK WELL THEREFORE TO THIS DAY. RAJAN I wish you were a beer. RAGOSTA bumper sticker seen on toyota corolla - my other car is a real ota ! FARBER try to establish a life style that does not require your presence FARBER a rolling disk gathers no MOS FARBER GIGO - garbage in, gospel out FARBER your face is your fortune - but its not a sin to be poor. FARBER HISTORY IS A RECORDING OF THE ACTIONS OF KNAVES AS REMEMBERED BY LIARS AND FOOLS. CLARY People who live in stone houses shouldn't throw glass. OBRIEN %MCP-W-NORELIGION, Wasting cycles using cookie will cause you to be immediatly derezzed. CLEVIT If a man does not keep pace with his companions perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music he hears... (Thoreau) RAGOSTA RESEARCH: THE PROCESS OF GOING UP BLIND ALLEYS TO SEE IF THEY'RE REALLY BLIND. WATTS ALL HELICOPTER ENGINEERS GO AROUND IN CIRCLES. WATTS Everybody wants to get to HEAVEN; but no one wants to die. - Mr. T - DECFHT The COOKIE MONSTER is comminng. The COOKIE MONSTER is near. The COOKIE MONSTER is upon you. Where are the cookies!!!! DCHANG AGAINST BOREDOM EVEN THE GODS THEMSELVES STRUGGLE IN VAIN. CLARY I didn't come here for abuse. I came for an argument ! HANNAN The earth is far too fragile a basket for mankind to keep all it's eggs in. - R. Heinlein CLARY Never speak in absolutes -- it will always cause trouble. TOPMAN If builders built buildings the way programmers write programs, the first woodpecker to come along would destroy civilization. SYSTEM What is Rick's (of CASABLANCA fame) last name ? DECFHT I am inebriated by the exuberance of your verbosity DECFHT I now return you to your local station BENDIX To suspect a friend is worse than to be deceived by him. INCHES Who lives content with little possesses everything. INCHES ALRIGHT! IT'S BREAK TIME! RUN DOWNSTAIRS AND GRAB SOME FOOD AND BRING IT TO ME. YOU NEED THE EXERCISE AND I NEED THE ENERGY! ALBERRY TOO BAD WE CAN'T USE A DELETE KEY FOR SOME OF THE THINGS WE SAY. ALBERRY REALITY IS AN ILLUSION PRODUCED BY AN ALCOHOL DEFICIENCY. DUMMY IT IS DIFFICULT TO SEE THE PICTURE WHEN YOU ARE INSIDE THE FRAME---JOE POSTER ALBERRY SHOW ME A CAT WHO CATCHES MICE AND I'LL SHOW YOU A CAT WITH BAD BREATH--GARFIELD ALBERRY Into every rain a little life must fall. -- Grandpa Davis WILLARD I brake for pizza. SOFTLBMGR DO NOT CONFUSE ACTIVITY FOR ACCOMPLISHMENT. ALBERRY I spent the coldest winter one summer in San Francisco. Mark Twain SYSRKD ^ ^ O O o . . .. .. ... RAGOSTA Life is either daring adventure or nothing. HELEN KELLER RMBROWN If you have the will to win, you have achieved half of your success; if you don't, you have achieved half of your failure. RMBROWN Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live. MARK TWAIN RMBROWN Genius is eternal patience. MICHELANGELO RMBROWN He that is overcautious will accomplish little -- but the GAO will not audit him. RMBROWN The important thing in life is to have a great aim and to possess the aptitude and the perseverance to attain it. GOETHE RMBROWN It is never too late to be what you might have been. GEORGE ELIOT RMBROWN Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined. HENRY DAVID THOREAU RMBROWN Never sniff a gift fish. RAGOSTA oo^ .oOOOOOOOOO OO /\ /\ /\ RAGOSTA Real programmers don't comment their code. It was hard to write, it should be hard to understand. SYSTEM Revenge is a dish best served cold - Klingon proverb - FLTDATA Hot funk, Cool punk, Even if its old junk... It's still rock and roll to me. RAGOSTA You will have a happy and peaceful life. NEUMAN BRIGHTEN UP SOMEONE ELSE'S DAY STERN And then it came that I was put to blame For every story told about me. RAGOSTA Reading this message is prohibited. CAL PENAL CODE SEC. 1.2, PARA.23, LINE 2 SWENSON IF IT DIDN'T GETCHA' THE RAT WILL GETCHA SWENSON There are only two types of matter in the universe... "regular matter" and "doesn't matter". RAGOSTA That's not a bug... that's a feature. SYSTEM It's impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious! -- Henry David Thoreau SYSTEM %DCL-F-BUCKPASS, invalid program access request timeout %CKY-?-WHATINTHE, cookie program just fine, DCL goofed! RAGOSTA Being in debt is one way of proving that is possible to have less than nothing. MARTIN Remember the Golden Rule: He who has the gold makes the rules. MARTIN You call that PROGRAMMING ?!? What a joke! My word! I don't believe this. Your account is being reported to the VAX Secret Police! SYSTEM Since Tate's compasses are notoriously unreliable, anyone who has a Tate's is lost. SYSTEM And in just 1/1000th of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 1,278,320 times !! SYSTEM The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet. SYSTEM WOMAN'S VIRTUE IS MAN'S GREATEST INVENTION LAUGHTER THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A PERFECT JERK. LAUGHTER Hay carino o no hay carino?? JANEV give me one good man, and i'll give him back when i'm done. LAUGHTER Let the music play!! JANEV The only gift is a portion of thyself... (Ralph Waldo Emerson) JANEV The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart... JANEV BEAM ME UP SCOTTY! DINNING A successful person lays a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw. MARTIN %DCL-W-LUCKYU, YOU ARE THE 1 MILLIONTH PERSON TO LOG OFF THIS SYSTEM. NO PRIZE THOUGH, SORRY. MARTIN If at first you don't succeed, try, try again -- and then quit. No use making a fool of yourself. -- W.C. Fields MARTIN Don't trust reality. After all, it is only a collective hunch. SHERIDAN Whoever dies with the most toys wins! RAGOSTA CONSTANT EXPOSURE TO RATS HAS BEEN SHOWN TO CAUSE TERMINAL CANCER IN LABORATORY COMPUTERS. LAUGHTER A shin is a tool used for finding furniture in the dark. MARTIN WE MUST NEEDS PUT OUR CYNICISM IN PERSPECTIVE. LAUGHTER All we are is ducks in the wind. RAGOSTA If you love something you must let it go. If it doesn't come back to you, search it out and kill it. RAGOSTA Reality is a crutch for those who don't have a firm grip on fantasy. LAUGHTER Don't Panic !!!!! DATAMAP The one who says that it cannot be done shouldn't interupt the one who is doing it. RAGOSTA CONGRATULATIONS! YOU'VE JUST WON A $50 DISCOUNT ON AN EVENING AT MADAME IRENE'S COMPUTERIZED PLEASURE PALACE & PIZZA TAKE-OUT! LAUGHTER DO NOT, under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, eat the Ames cafeteria's chili! LAUGHTER Message from URSULA: Please check your car for a black silk stocking...thanks! LAUGHTER Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. RAGOSTA Honk if I'm POLISH! SYSTEM Nothing truly worth learning can ever be taught. BABB Once you open a can of worms, the only way to recan them is to use a larger can. RAGOSTA DEC's lateset VAX architecture handbook features scratch and sniff. Now you can smell the difference between the PC, a page fault, and a longword. RAGOSTA It was a time of innocence, a time of confidences. Long ago it must be; I have a photograph. Preserve your memories, there all that's left you. RAGOSTA No gnus is good gnus. RAGOSTA WE ALL LIVE IN A YELLOW SUBROUTINE JURGELEIT Being an umpire is like being a king. It doesn't prepare you to do anything else. SHERIDAN All modern thought is permeated by the idea of thinking the unthinkable: JURGELEIT When planets go around and around in circles, we say they are orbiting. When people do it, we say they are crazy. JURGELEIT Do. Or do not. There is no try. -- Yoda RAGOSTA Hot funk, Cool punk, Even if its old junk... It's still rock and roll to me. RAGOSTA dlog si srettilg taht lla erus s'ohw ydal a s'erehT RAGOSTA Life is spent waiting for either death or Santa Claus. SHERIDAN What makes us so bitter against people who outwit us is that they think themselves cleverer than we are. RAGOSTA I wish you were a beer. RAGOSTA The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits. RAGOSTA Just when you start winning the rat race, along come faster rats. RAGOSTA Too bad ignorance isn't painful. RAGOSTA Never sniff a gift fish. RAGOSTA All men are created equal, but some are more equal than others. RAGOSTA Reality in small doses is OK. But as a lifestyle it is too confining. SHERIDAN ...but now old friends are acting strange, they shake there heads and say I've changed... RAGOSTA THERE IS NEVER ANY TRUE PLEASURE IN THAT WHICH GIVES ANOTHER PAIN BURNS Tookey tookey. DUMMY O This is fu RAGOSTA Oh boy...This is fun. RAGOSTA